2008 brought obvious emotions. Joy, fear, frustration, anxiety. The drive was just what I needed to confront those feelings head on. And I have decided to declare war on all the things that make my spirit feel weaker than God wills it to be.
I arrived in Cleveland, snuggled up with my Rowe, and had an amazing "start of the new year" chat with my Bestie. We spoke of dreams, goals, blessings, and trials. It's so crazy how truly alike we can be! I discussed with her my goal for the near future. Her and Knox had recently made plans for the same goal, only theirs had a cool slogan...which I am now stealing, okay, borrowing!
"Grow Where You're Planted"
God has placed many desires in Wes and I's life. This past year, I was consumed with our desire to be parents. It is a special responsibility that we pray for daily. I feel God, in this very moment, is still preparing our hearts for His true blessings. While the thought of this responsibility kept me driven, it also left me burdened. Broken with the fact that it's just not our time. Touched by the undescribable joy twice, yet torn at the alternate path we were given. My thoughts and feelings became controlled by this one desire, this one dream. I have now realized the magnitude of time being lost.
The dream, and desire, still rests strong on our minds daily. We speak of our children often and smile and laugh on the thought of memories to be made in the near future. (Whether Gabby will marry Rowe McCoy, or Cooper will be his Best Buddy!) But if I have learned one thing from 2008, I am striving to "Grow Where I'm Planted."
I feel God has granted me many responsibilities and "roles" in life. One, to be a mother. I pray daily that God continues the growth in Wes and I. We want our desires to be those that God has set for us. Not our own. His timing will be perfect. But I am not only meant to be a mom. God has "planted" me for this very time, to be a wife, a daughter, friend, sister, teacher, aunt, etc.
God has blessed me with an amazing husband. And I have been granted this amazing chance to use this time for him, and for us. His career creates an obvious busy-ness in our life. Quality time for the two of us is few and far between. So I choose today to spend some much needed time thinking of us. God has granted us some extra time to enjoy each other, and I'll be darned (d-a-r-n-e-d) :) if I let another second go by without acknowledging it.
I have amazing family and friends. They have been our constant encouragement in these last two years. They have allowed me to grieve and heal on my own terms. No questions asked. I now choose to be a loved daughter, a selfless friend, and a proud Aunt. I choose to focus on the roles and tasks at hand. God created these responsibilities also specifically for me, and I now devote my love to these roles.
i choose...to "Grow Where I'm Planted."