Tuesday, January 6, 2009

My Declaration for 2009

 Sunday afternoon I departed from my home, excitedly on my way to Cleveland to visit some on my favorite people in the world! My McCoys....(the Weeks and Rumble's too!) :) The quiet drive was just what I needed to clear my head and clean out my soul.

 2008 brought obvious emotions. Joy, fear, frustration, anxiety. The drive was just what I needed to confront those feelings head on. And I have decided to declare war on all the things that make my spirit feel weaker than God wills it to be. 

 I arrived in Cleveland, snuggled up with my Rowe, and had an amazing "start of the new year" chat with my Bestie.  We spoke of dreams, goals, blessings, and trials. It's so crazy how truly alike we can be! I discussed with her my goal for the near future. Her and Knox had recently made plans for the same goal, only theirs had a cool slogan...which I am now stealing, okay, borrowing!

"Grow Where You're Planted"

 God has placed many desires in Wes and I's life. This past year, I was consumed with our desire to be parents. It is a special responsibility that we pray for daily. I feel God, in this very moment, is still preparing our hearts for His true blessings. While the thought of this responsibility kept me driven, it also left me burdened. Broken with the fact that it's just not our time. Touched by the undescribable joy twice, yet torn at the alternate path we were given. My thoughts and feelings became controlled by this one desire, this one dream. I have now realized the magnitude of time being lost. 

 The dream, and desire, still rests strong on our minds daily. We speak of our children often and smile and laugh on the thought of memories to be made in the near future. (Whether Gabby will marry Rowe McCoy, or Cooper will be his Best Buddy!) But if I have learned one thing from 2008, I am striving to "Grow Where I'm Planted." 

 I feel God has granted me many responsibilities and "roles" in life. One, to be a mother. I pray daily that God continues the growth in Wes and I. We want our desires to be those that God has set for us. Not our own. His timing will be perfect. But I am not only meant to be a mom. God has "planted" me for this very time, to be a wife, a daughter, friend, sister, teacher, aunt, etc. 

 God has blessed me with an amazing husband. And I have been granted this amazing chance to use this time for him, and for us. His career creates an obvious busy-ness in our life. Quality time for the two of us is few and far between. So I choose today to spend some much needed time thinking of us. God has granted us some extra time to enjoy each other, and I'll be darned (d-a-r-n-e-d) :) if I let another second go by without acknowledging it. 

 I have amazing family and friends. They have been our constant encouragement in these last two years. They have allowed me to grieve and heal on my own terms. No questions asked. I now choose to be a loved daughter, a selfless friend, and a proud Aunt. I choose to focus on the roles and tasks at hand. God created these responsibilities also specifically for me, and I now devote my love to these roles. 

 i choose...to "Grow Where I'm Planted."

2 comments:

  1. Great post Hillary!! It is often so hard to do just that...."grow where we are planted"!! We get all our hopes and dreams and what we want in the way of God's plan for us! I struggle with this daily! Wanting things that I want and wanting things to go my way. I am striving to live in God's will and to change my prayers from "God please do this for me" to "God please show me how I can use what I have to bring You glory" I hope you know where I stand in your journey, Hillary.....I'm right here beside you, friend!! I love you and I am praying for God to use you in incredible ways...."where you are planted"

    ~Donna

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  2. That is, by far, one of the biggest “Big Girl” heart/mindsets that I’ve heard in a long, long time.

    It is God who is at work within you, dear one, “to will and to act according to His good purpose.” (Phil. 2:13)
    I am so proud of you – I know the Lord is even more proud. What He is working within you, I say, wrestle with it until you can rest in it completely. He’s got you.

    Every time you invest in another life … every time you nurture and care for the people God has planted in your life, God is polishing up those “mother” qualities that He placed within you. He sees completely the big picture … the entire, full, complete future that He has planned for you. I believe, in due time, He will grant you the deep desire of your heart. In the longing of being a parent, never lose sight of your Heavenly Father. Sometimes in life, we can get so caught up in the “want” that we bypass the Giver. He never wants you to “want” anything in this life more than you want Him. Ever.

    Thank you for sharing your heart and your journey. I love you dearly.

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